“Just Starfish’ed His Way Through”: People Who Called Off Their Wedding, Break Down Why
My friend’s fiancé turned out to be a flat-earther. Guess that was the tip of the iceberg. Wedding’s off, sanity’s intact.
Had a cousin that called off his wedding a month before. He found out she had already been married before and had 2 young kids that she left back in her home country.
When a fairytale wedding on screen suddenly takes a dramatic turn, doesn’t your heart skip a beat? While it might seem like that level of chaos is reserved for rom-coms or soap operas, real-life wedding drama can be just as intense and even more unpredictable. This thread is proof that sometimes, the aisle turns into a runway… straight out the door.
From betrayals to buried secrets, there are plenty of reasons someone might cancel a wedding at the last minute. Cheating, lies, or even realizing they’re not ready—some red flags just can’t be ignored. And when those deal-breakers surface right before “I do,” calling it off can be the hardest, yet bravest, decision of all.
Her best friend crashed the wedding, she spilled something that utterly shattered me, she had s*x with her ex the night before our wedding, I’m glad cause I would have ended up in a paternity court to determine which child is mine and I bet I won’t be the father of them all.
She got pregnant and I do not have a p***s to facilitate that.
It ended up being the best thing for me in the long run! I moved cross country and have a better than I could’ve ever imagined having with her!
The emotional toll of a canceled wedding is heavy, not just for the couple, but for everyone around them. There’s heartbreak, embarrassment, and lots of unanswered questions. But let’s not forget the financial blow. With venues, vendors, travel, and attire involved, it’s not just feelings that get crushed, it’s wallets, too.
To better understand the financial impact of wedding cancellations, Bored Panda spoke with Raghubir Singh, the founder of BMP Weddings. With years of experience and a reputation for pulling off elegant, large-scale events, Singh has seen it all. He generously offered insight into what happens behind the scenes when things don’t go as planned. “There’s more to it than just a postponed celebration,” he said. “It affects everyone who was a part of building the big day.” And the ripple effect is often bigger than most people imagine.
Even though the bride wasn’t a practicing Jehovah’s Witness she still wanted the atheist groom to convert to please her very religious family who weren’t coming to the wedding and hadn’t spoken a word to him during the three years they had been dating.
Two weeks out I walked into her on top of my (now ex) friend on Valentine’s Day. That’ll do it.
“We put our souls into every wedding,” Singh shared. “From custom decor to intricate planning, everything is tailored to the couple.” The goal is always to create an unforgettable experience. “But when a wedding is called off, all that preparation often goes to waste.” While the emotional toll is high for the couple, Singh reminds us the work doesn’t disappear. The effort from dozens of professionals often vanishes without recognition.
She went to a party, found someone better and called it off about 2,5 months before the wedding. 10 yrs together, 2 kids.
That’s 2 years ago, I’m not doing well.
I had two of my own very young children. I told him while we were dating I wasn’t sure I wanted more children so if it was what he was looking for we should split. About 8 months later, he asked me to marry him. The more arrangements we made he kept talking about growing the family. I agreed when my youngest was in school I would have one more so he could have a bio child. He kept talking about having 5 more.
I kept telling him it wasn’t too late to call off but I wasn’t having five more. He insisted he loved me and didn’t care if we had any more but he always dreamt of a big family. A WEEK out from the wedding I heard him talking to a buddy that planned on forcing me into creating his family.
Four days from the wedding, I canceled and ended our relationship.
27 years later, he is married w/6 kids and one on the way.
I am married w/ my 2 adult kids in their 30’s and my nephew in his early 20’s.
We were out thousands of dollars but it saved us both from being unhappy.
If you are asking because you are considering it. DO IT.
Trust yourself and do not worry what everyone else will think.
Not me but my older cousin. She was engaged to a man who had previously had a drinking problem. She refused to get engaged to him until he got sober. He did, so they got engaged and planned their wedding.
Nine days before the wedding she found out he started drinking again. She instantly cancelled the wedding.
I remember being a very young teenager at the dinner table where all my aunts, my mother, great aunt, and my grandmother were gossiping about it. And by gossiping I mean they were all heavily praising my cousin for sticking to her guns and knowing when to leave. They ALL agreed it was so much better to leave before the wedding.
It was a formative moment for me.
Here were all these older women, who were country club members and old fashioned and had already spent all this money to fly in, and they were ALL absolutely on my cousins side from the jump. This wasn’t a cheap wedding. These weren’t “new age” women. And since it had been hidden so well, they all had no idea about the drinking problem and had actually loved the soon-to-be-groom. He’d had total family approval.
It made me so much more comfortable than my peers leaving relationships that just weren’t working. I knew my family wouldn’t judge me even if he seemed nice and it would be a hassle for them if I decided “no”. So I didn’t stick around bad relationships and never felt pressure to keep up appearances that everything was perfect around my family.
I’m so grateful to my cousin for having the courage to cancel that wedding. And I’m so happy for her she’s in a rock solid marriage now with wonderful children she’s raising to know they’re loved and supported.
“We always try to be empathetic,” he added. “It’s a heartbreaking decision for the couple.” But even with understanding, the practical side remains. “There are caterers, decorators, lighting teams, florists: we all put in days of effort.” When a wedding is canceled suddenly, these professionals are left with expenses and lost opportunities. “That’s the part people rarely think about,” he said.
Singh noted that large venues usually demand significant deposits that are often much more than 10%. “It’s money we pay upfront to lock the date and space,” he said. If a wedding is canceled close to the date, that money is typically gone. “Most venues don’t offer refunds for last-minute cancellations,” he explained. In some cases, a penalty is added on top of the loss.
A coworker called off her wedding because her fiance did none of the planning with her. He just starfish’ed his way through. The final straw was when she pulled up a catering meal plan she tried to plan with him *for six months*, and he lost it on her because “she should’ve known his father hated cottage cheese.”
Broke up with him there, reimbursed him for the measly “half” he paid for everything…which was like only 25%.
Two months before the wedding, police showed up at the house stating they had a warrant for his arrest.
For robbing a gas station of Kratom. (OTC d**g?)
Dude had a raging a*******n and I realized this was not the life I wanted to live. Dumped him and the house like a sack of rocks.
Few years later I rekindled with my highschool sweetheart and we now have a beautiful baby, hold out until you find what you really deserve and never, ever settle for less
Edit: no more wedding police
He said, if I knew you had a chronic illness, I never would have dated you.
While beating him to arrange all the refunds, I found out…
1. He was on parole for a cyber fraud crime
2. He was trying to pull a dodgy on our home loan application during settlement which placed all the risk against my parents home.
Catering costs are another major concern. “Most caterers ask for full payment before the event,” Singh said. “They need time to source high-quality ingredients, especially for custom menus.” He explained that many Indian weddings require imported or specialty items. “Once that food is prepped, we can’t just return it,” he added. “We let the staff take some, and the rest is donated to avoid waste.”
Florists also take a hit when weddings are canceled last minute. “Indian weddings use an enormous amount of fresh flowers,” Singh explained. “Garlands, backdrops, table settings, it adds up.” These flowers are ordered in bulk and often customized. “They’re perishable, and we can’t repurpose them for another client.” That’s a lot of cost that can’t be recovered.
We hadn’t sent the invites yet but had booked the venue. They started talking about starting a family right away. They had known I was child free for the duration of our relationship. I guess they just thought that I was trapped and would change my mind? I did, about marrying them.
I’m so grateful to younger me for sticking to my guns.
My sister called hers off. A girl she didn’t know came up to her and told her she was pregnant. Guess who the daddy was?
I had a medical crisis requiring multiple surgeries, and his reaction was to yell at me for faking illnesses to get out of housework and breaking my things to “motivate” me to get out of bed. He seemed so relieved when I ended it, that I’m pretty sure that was exactly what he wanted without looking like the bad guy.
“We also pay the DJ in advance,” Singh added. “That locks in their time so they don’t take other gigs.” If a cancellation happens, the payment is non-refundable. “They’ve reserved the day for us, and that’s income lost if we cancel.” For live performers and specialty artists, the same rules usually apply. “It’s a professional courtesy and part of the cost.”
Other service providers might not require advance payment, but that doesn’t mean there’s no financial hit. “Hair stylists, makeup artists, transport vendors, some we pay after the event,” he said. “But even they often charge a cancellation fee.” Singh said that it’s standard in the industry. “You can’t pull out last-minute and expect zero loss,” he added.
Best friends since middle school. They were all set and about a month out when he went out with us (me +6 of our close friends) and saw her with some woman none of knew at a bar we were just stopping in for a 12 bar 12 beers pub crawl. She pretended she didn’t recognize him. Told bar security that he was a stalker. After a bit of arguing we were able to convince them he was her fiance. It went back and forth, security asked everyone to leave. Turns out the woman she was with is her girlfriend and his fiance was gay and hadn’t told anyone. She was just with him as cover. He called off the wedding. He was at least nice enough to not out her to her family (very devout muslims, she wast practicing though). She did eventually marry that woman 2 years later.
My friend found someone else and they’re expecting thir first kid in a few months.
Found out he had been cheating online for the entire duration of our relationship and called things off 6 months before the big day.
Few months before the wedding found evidence that he’d been cheating with my (married) ex best friend and bridesmaid. They were both total gaslighting AHs after I found out and made sure to get everyone we knew to think I was crazy. Fun times….
“And then, of course, we pay our own staff,” Singh continued. “From planners to assistants, everyone works long hours.” The preparations for a wedding often start weeks in advance. “Even if the event doesn’t happen, their time and effort deserve compensation.” That payroll doesn’t stop just because a party didn’t happen. “We still have a team to support.”
He became violent during our engagement, finally choking me until I was unconscious. I visited my parents a few days later. I assume my dad saw the bruises, because for the first time I can remember he had a sit-down, emotional conversation to ask if this was the life I really wanted, where I saw myself in 5 years. I realized my now-ex was probably going to k**l me, and indeed he did point a gun at me when I broke up with him. I had to get a restraining order and actually ended up studying abroad that summer in an attempt to get away from him. He moved schools and later married (then divorced) my step-cousin.
We moved in together after the engagement. Her Armenian parents threw a $20k engagement party at a yacht club and invited something like 50 people. I invited my family and like 6 friends. There was a priest who said something in Armenian. It was essentially a wedding without the vows.
Anyway, we moved in together on a 6 month lease and it became very apparent that she did not know how to function in life. Didn’t pay her own bills or credit cards yet thought I was financially irresponsible because I had student loans and credit card debt from college.
She was so spoiled and out of touch that when we looked for houses her requirements were, “AT LEAST 2,000 sq ft and a pool.” Maybe her dad would have given us the down payment, but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.
Ninja edit: Mind you, this was in 2008 right before the crash. Homes like she wanted were $800k+ and large numbers of them would soon be foreclosed on after they drop by half
Back to original:
She wanted me to get rid of my cats. She got pissed off and jealous when I went to my sister’s baby shower a day early to help saying, “I’m way more important than some baby.” She didn’t like me spending time with anyone but her and she didn’t want to spend time with my family. She wanted to stop having s*x until we were married because her aunt told her it was in the Bible. I made it clear that any one of those things was a dealbreaker for me.
She got sick, threw up all over the apartment and didn’t clean it up, expecting me to do it, which I did when I got home out of caring for her but 8 hours of vomit on carpet left a stain. The second time she got sick and threw up all over the bathroom and I told her she can do it or leave the bathroom door shut. It took a week.
Then came the baby trap. I saw it, side stepped it, and made plans to go. Got a new job, moved back to my home town, and got my happiness back. That was all in 4 months of the 6 month lease. I realized most of the way through that that not only did I not love her, I didn’t even like her. I dodged a huge bullet. Several, actually.
His mother. It felt like she was planning her own wedding. I had no say in anything. She uninvited my best friend and cousins from my bridal party behind my back because they were single and instead invited a niece of hers I never met and the groomsmen gfs who I barely knew. She booked a hall and picked the menu without consulting us even though she wasn’t contributing a cent. Whenever I brought up all this to my now ex, he took his mother’s side. That to me was massive red flag and knew she was always going to be butting in and he would always take her side so I called it all off.
His now wife is a mini version of his mother. She used to be cute but now has same Karen haircut and colour as his mother and even dressed the same as her. Glad I walked out of that mess while I could.
Singh emphasized that planners do everything they can to minimize the damage. “We renegotiate with vendors, try to reuse materials, even push back delivery dates,” he said. “We do our best to cushion the blow.” Most couples are understanding and cooperative. “They usually help us cover unavoidable costs,” he noted. “But not every situation is that smooth.”
“We’ve had couples or more often, families, who become difficult,” Singh admitted. “They refuse to pay or argue about terms after canceling.” That puts planners in a tough spot, balancing professionalism with damage control. “It adds extra stress to an already sensitive situation.” Still, Singh says they try to handle everything with grace. “Because ultimately, someone’s heart is broken.”
He had cheated on me earlier in the relationship and I had stayed. He was very controlling of our finances and I fell out of love with him. I realized we barely had anything in common aside from our jobs. We were set to marry and then Covid hit. Our wedding got postponed and I took my chance then to leave. My mom and sister helped me pack up my belongings and I left all my furniture I had bought. I am now married to my best friend and we have a baby on the way.
I had some friends who did this. They loved each other but the would-be bride was kind of a mess and her partner put up with too much. She was constantly dealing with an eating disorder and s******l tendencies and was confused about her gender identity, but the real nail in the coffin was that she wanted to be poly and he didn’t.
He ended up sort of letting her pursue other guys even though he hated the idea. He had been caretaking her for years and didn’t think she could survive without him, but I think he snapped when she started seeing someone else and finally realized how lopsided their relationship was and that she was never going to give him what he needed and wanted.
They had a dog they both loved, she took it because she was unstable and “needed” it more.
She has since transitioned to living as a man, and I don’t know what the ex partner is doing but I hope he’s happy. He was an incredibly sweet person.
I was engaged and one night my fiancée was leaving my place and went to say bye to my two young kids. My son said “Bye, I love you!” My fiancée didn’t say it back, looked like he saw a ghost. I gave it a few days before saying, “You know we need to talk about the other night, right?” And he said, “I don’t know what happened, all I could think was I need to get out of here now”. That was it, I called it off. In hindsight I shouldn’t have ever accepted his proposal before he told my kids he loved them.
That said, he was a wonderful boyfriend and I’m thankful for the fun times we had. He just wasn’t ready to be a step dad at all.
He punched me in the face.
I was going to type the story but it’s not interesting or important. We got into a fight and he was an emotional troglodyte who reacted accordingly.
I called the cops and took half the money out of our checking account. We were living paycheck to paycheck so everything bounced. I laughed about it to his bestie when he called to tell me to give it back.
“It’s always a tricky situation,” Singh concluded. “We want to support the couple, even if the wedding doesn’t happen.” Weddings are about love, joy, and celebration. But when they don’t go as planned, they leave a trail of emotional and financial weight. Have you ever attended a wedding that got canceled last-minute? Was it emotional, dramatic or a bit of both? Tell us your story.
We fell apart after a miscarriage and he drew farther away from me, to the point I wasn’t recognizing the person I was with. We never fought, and then we were fighting about the most minor things almost every day, and he refused to apologize when he hurt me, always hurting me more and more.
One day I walked 40 minutes in the sun to meet him after work at his house and he picked a fight because I wanted to hear one (seriously, one) Fleetwood Mac song to relax after a very stressful day. He was such a d**k that I chose to go back to my home walking after that (another 40 minutes walking) and he just sent me a message to ask how I was the other day. No apologies, no nothing. All this time we started planning the wedding and while I just wanted to set a date and make it as intimate as possible, he wanted a big shindig with all the bells and whistles, the mere thought of it scared me.
Then he started saying he wanted to explore his bisexuality (we’re both bi, he never “lived” it, I did) and a little later he asked to open the relationship. I didn’t want to, but did it, and it unfolded as the classic tale of reluctant open relationships: he got out with so many people the first weeks (men and women) and asked me to give it a try. Even helped me install tinder. I started going out with people, then realized I was having so much fun and being treated so much better by strangers than in my almost five year engagement. And I got SO MANY dates. Meanwhile, he realized he wanted to be only with me after all and started having jealousy fits. I realized I didn’t want that for my life anymore. I broke up with him and when I did, he became again the person I longed for all this time and tried to win me over again, but I just didn’t love him like that anymore, although I still had a lot of appreciation for him.
We tried again three times, which of course didn’t work, took some needed time apart and now we can call each other friends again and mean it (it’s not all black and white–example: he saved me from s*****e after I was drugged and r***d a year later). I’ll be a bridesmaid at his wedding this year and he’ll be a groomsmen at mine. We both had a say in “approving” our current significant others, cause we know each other upside down and know if someone wouldn’t be good for each other. He apologized a lot for his actions in the past and redeemed himself. In summary, we realized we were better as friends than romantic partners, and found people we’re way more compatible with (and I’m pleased to say my now partner sings Fleetwood Mac at the top of his lungs with me).
“I won’t be ready to marry you until after we do therapy”
One week later:
“asks me to marry him on a ship in the middle of the ocean surrounded by 30 of his friends and family and family, thousands of others, with a full camera crew.”
I said yes. Later, said “we can only get married after we go through therapy” a few months, a million excuses, and several cycles of emotional manipulation later ✂️💍🙅♀️
My fiancé kept trying to plan, but rejected me and freaked out any time I tried to contribute. We started having weird prolonged “talks” about our relationship, he was basically trying to get me to break up with him so he wasn’t the bad guy. Eventually I gave him the ring back, and 2 months later he posted a YouTube video coming out.
My ex was mentally and verbally abused by his parents. As time went on, he thought it was okay to treat me the way his dad treated his mom, and control me. I saw him pushing a baby stroller about six months later; he was cheating and had a child with his now wife.
Called off the wedding a month before the date.
Came down to a variety of factors but the biggest one is that I just wasn’t happy. Relationships should have an element of compromise but it felt very one sided for me.
I don’t regret the decision.
I discovered she had been cheating on me months before our engagement. The outcome? Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem that have stuck with me since 2019, f**k her!
Not proud of this, but someone I always had very strong feelings for reentered my life at a time where i was really vulnerable. Limerence took over, my engagement blew up. And no, it didn’t work out with him either.
Found photos of my best friend naked on his phone (I was 19 and stupid and looked through his phone, would never do that ever again) she hadn’t sent them to him, she’d uploaded them onto what she thought was a private tumblr and he somehow found them without her knowing. Gave absolute creep vibes immediately. Worth mentioning he’d broken his phone a week earlier and I bought him the new one, and found he had emailed himself the photos to transfer to the new device. He to this day 8 years later tells anyone that will listen that we broke up cause I cheated on him.
Found recent selfie style photos of him In bed with another girl. This was in the 90s so these were printed photos he hid in a drawer. Too bad I did alllll the laundry and found them barely concealed while putting away his underwear.
I was being pushed into it by her Italian family. Luckily I pulled out at the last moment but it was close. All the arrangements were made. Best decision I ever made.
I called off my wedding about 2 weeks before. He was emotionally and verbally a*****e throughout our relationship but it only got worse the closer we got to the wedding. I knew if we got married I would be divorced within a year. Best decision of my life!
My two college friends had been dating since sophomore year. They planned their wedding for the fall after graduation. He called it off the day before. I love her, but she was very controlling in their relationship. He never really tried to push back. He was also realizing that she may have a drinking problem. He didn’t want to deal with that forever.
It was a mess. They lived together. They had all mutual friends. Ultimately, it was the right choice. He should have figured it out earlier. They both eventually married other people. She got sober about 10 years later.
I wanted a very small ceremony and he demanded something extravagant. I wanted to be married but I hate weddings. I think they’re a waste of money.
I was 19 and about to marry a loser but I was “in love”. My best friend said she wouldn’t be my maid of honour if I went through with it. She was not a bossy woman, nor was she comfortable saying it. I walked away and am extremely thankful I did.
Simply put, I loved him but was not IN love with him. My family adored him, his family adored mine. We went to school together and we had the same tight friend group.
We were the only two from our group to attend the same college. He was very bright and helped tutor me where I fell short. I thought we were casually dating… until he proposed in front of all our family, friends, several High school teachers and an entire restaurant.
After that our moms really pushed the planning. Before I knew it I had a dress, a venue and was sitting down for our tasting. That’s where I lost it. I just couldn’t see myself or him being happy a decade down the road.
I called it off the next day, lost most of my friends and my mom stopped speaking to me for few months. A year, to the weekend, he got married to our marriage counselors niece. So I feel he recovered quickly.
When it’s not ment to be, it sucks, but it will all work out for the best.
A good friend of mine called off her wedding a couple months before the big date because she and her fiancé realized they weren’t in love anymore.
She ended up having a big party on the original date instead and even danced in her wedding dress as part of it to celebrate her commitment to *herself*.
One friend of mine realized she was more in love with the idea of being married than the actual guy.
She told me that she was settling for me and had viewed our relationship as transactional for some time.
I wanted a spouse not a roommate.
Not me but a friend. He called it off just about a week before after she called his son, who has autism and is a nice kid, a “r****d”. .
I fought with her… On a ballpark average… 45m-3 hrs at least once a week, sometimes up to 3x a week, for 7 years… None of my friends liked her much and I thought I had a normal relationship… I remember when I proposed to her, we fought every night that week for like 3 hours. Despite having the perfect cliff side plan and proposal, she blew a gasket on me about ‘causing bad omens’ because I remarked on the dark clouds moving in from the shore… I took the ring back and did a second proposal later in the week of equal thought… She had a way of pushing every button I had. If I wanted to talk it out, she wanted to discuss it tomorrow. If I wanted to discuss it tomorrow, she had to talk it out all night.
I had been a long time smoker, on/off, actively quitting, you know… Anyhow, I had been smoking when she wasn’t around and finally stopped caring about being caught. I came out one morning on my porch after fighting with her the night before. She walked out and said, “you’re smoking again?” with a condescending tone, like the kind of “eat s**t, I’m so much better than you” tone you get off someone who’s about to run down a list of how much they love you but how inconsiderate you are. My next response was, “I’m done. We’re done.” Followed by her stammering through disbelief and then trying to tell me that I’m destroying her daughter’s (not mine) future and current home (my home). Best $35k loss ever.
My life was immediately better without her and I’m married to a woman who in 5 years I have had 5 arguments with. Most of those arguments came from me working with her to undo the defensive/offensive mechanisms I built up to prevent being hurt. I also quit smoking (actually). Amazing what you can do when you aren’t stressed to the limit.
We talked on/off over the years. Mostly when she was down/out/depressed and alone from one failed relationship or another. Most recently, she ended up arrested for domestic a*****t. He hired a lawyer in secret and PI to follow her around for a divorce case he’d been building up. So, yeah, apparently I wasn’t the only dude who felt trapped by crazy and wanted out.
I called off my first engagement about 2 months before the wedding: I was quite young and he was a good bit older and previously married. I gradually came to a realization that I had different views, wanted to continue my education, see the world etc. I was rationalizing to myself that we could probably have a few good years but had zero expectation that we would stay married. After I called it off, my family and friends universally told me I had done the right thing. In retrospect, he was jealous and controlling and it was kind of a terrible relationship. But guess what? I went to graduate school, travelled the world and have been married to my true love for 31 years.
Have you heard of the Taxi Cab Theory ? My (ex) fiancée’s father had passed away unexpectedly and he really lamented the fact that he (fiancée) wasn’t in a more responsible/respectable place at the time of his father’s passing. He had a job in the service industry and very quickly made arrangements to transition into medical sales and also, shortly thereafter, proposed. I think he thought the next logical, adult step in his life was marriage and we just happened to be dating.
He was about 5 years older than me and I still felt very young to be getting married (24). I suggested a two year engagement to ease that feeling, which also meant we were together three years total at the time of the wedding.
Weeks before the wedding, I was waking up every day sick to my stomach and just couldn’t fathom having to work so hard to be happy for the rest of my life. It’s nothing against him at all, I loved him and his family—I just don’t think it was the right fit and I think we wanted different things.
I called off the wedding a little less than 3 weeks before. It was a destination wedding and it gave everyone just enough time before the 2 week cutoff to cancel for a refund, if they chose.
I definitely think it was the right decision. Very shortly after we broke up, he started dating a girl he worked with and they married and have two kids. This was over 10 years ago and I have gotten to do everything I ever wanted in my life and more. I think we’re both happier for it.
He came after me and tried to choke me. Just before he was saying I didn’t respect him and he was upset I had gotten a wedding card and not him. It was the culmination of bizarre behaviors that increased closer to the wedding. I legitimately think he had a tbi and I just didn’t see the effects until it was THERE. I cancelled the wedding 1.5 weeks before the date.
I was lucky to get to my parents. His mother took our wedding gifts. I was pretty shocked about that and still am 15 years later. He sold everything in the apartment, then disappeared into Montana afterward and last I heard he was living unhoused in Hawaii.
Because she cheated. So I immediately broke it off and walked away. No coming back from that.
His mom started taking over the wedding planning. When we tried to put our foot down, she would literally take him out to ice cream and tell him why he needed to do x,y, and z. She said that my family’s only purpose in life was to cause problems for her (my sister pushed me to make sure the wedding was what I wanted). She said the wedding was not “our wedding, but it was the family’s wedding.” After we broke up, she spent time calling my family members to tell them I’m a rotten person and calling me to tell me that I was unloveable. She blocked not just me, but my entire family on Facebook (including people she wasn’t friends with nor had she ever met in real life). 18 months later he was engaged again. I sometimes think about that poor woman and hope that narcissist learned her lesson.
My brother’s wedding was called off because it was found out that he was a SEVERE alcoholic who refused help or even the concept of help.
Her family mailed out apology/cancelation letters 3 days after the invitations.
All of a sudden he wanted to move out of state, to a very specific place that he had ties to with an organization he volunteered with. 3 months before our wedding date he still didn’t have his tux and when I asked him if he was going to get it he looked me dead in eyes and said “I’m not even excited for a wedding”. I will never forget how I felt in that moment. I was crushed. To this day I don’t know why he wanted to leave so bad. He wouldn’t even wait for me to figure out a place we could both be happy going to. He asked me to go with him but it didn’t feel genuine. This was almost exactly one year ago and I am still heartbroken and haven’t been able to fully move on.
He barely showed a interest in having kids and mentioned not wanting any. That was it for me. I always wanted kids. Now I’m married with 3 of my own.
This isn’t my experience, but my brother was engaged to his ex of six years. She was extremely controlling, emotionally manipulative, and obsessed with having everything her way. At the time, she was graduating college the same summer they were supposed to get married while my brother was already three years into a successful career, making great money. She wanted to move to a small town to be a teacher making 4x’s less than he did and expected him to walk away from everything he had built. When he said no, she became furious and became physically aggressive towards him. He ended the engagement a month before the wedding.
After calling off the wedding, the ex stole the $10k honeymoon trip to Europe that my brother had paid for. Her aunt, who was the travel agent that booked everything, went back and quietly transferred all the reservations into his ex’s name, even though the credit card used was my brother’s. The ex ended up going on the honeymoon with her equally unhinged mom. And honestly, her mom had already hijacked the wedding planning anyway, she misspelled my brother’s name on the invitations and refused to correct the error. Between the two of them, it was clear they loved his bank account way more than they ever respected him. My brother didn’t even bother fighting them for the trip. He told us, “Money is replaceable, but my sanity isn’t.”
Three months later, his ex got engaged to a guy she had previously introduced to my brother as her “lab partner.” It’s been four years, and let’s just say, she hasn’t aged well and seems pretty miserable. It was a complete disaster, but honestly, I’m just thankful she never became my sister-in-law.
I called off my wedding two months out. We loved the idea of marriage more than each other. Counseling exposed big differences — kids, careers — that we hadn’t faced. It felt wrong, so I ended it. Heartbreaking, but I’m relieved now.
The wedding was a stressor that ultimately ended in him canceling and breaking up with me 6 months out.
I was so fixated on everything being perfect and becoming the perfect wife to be for him and it just ended up being what neither of us wanted. Our honeymoon was booked and paid for and we couldn’t refund it. We managed to get a minor amount of money back for the wedding things we’d booked but did lose money overall.
We did not argue or get angry with each other, i was heartbroken and he was beside himself. We took time away from each other.
Now literally 1 week away from what would have been our wedding day we are giving the relationship another go and going on the honeymoon as a holiday. Our first together in nearly 8 years.
We’ll see what happens.
The woman I was engaged to really changed once the ring hit her finger. I started paying closer attention to things and how she’d act or what she’d say. The longer things went on it became extremely clear all she was interested in was my money and her never having to work again, essentially a gold digger. Sorry, I’m not going to provide for someone that wants to take, take, take and eventually bring nothing to the table after I’ve worked hard to provide for myself.
Got engaged, tried to plan the wedding but he kept dodging and dodging. Finally it turns out he signed a contract behind my back to be an embassy guard, which enabled him from getting married (marine). He didn’t want to break up with me and be the bad guy (his words).
So I gladly became the bad guy. He was also just so emotionally draining and horrible. Glad I called it off.
His mother. I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with her in it.
Also his jealousy. Every time I talked about anyone- a coworker, a friend etc he’d ask me how long I’d been sleeping with them. I never cheated, but he did- a LOT.
A friend of mine had her fiancé suddenly call it off *days* before the wedding. His excuse was that he “wasn’t ready”. He’d cleared all his things out within a week, and went off to basic training not long after.
She was *devastated*. I remember getting the call with her in hysterics and having to take some of the wedding decor out so she wouldn’t have to look at it.
She’s long since gotten married, with three kids, and seems pretty blissfully happy for it. I thought they got together a bit too fast after what happened, but her husband is genuinely still over the moon about her a good 13 years since the wedding.
My ex fiancee actually broke up with me 5 months to our wedding day. Likely super unhappy and she gave me an ultimatum to propose to her which was likely the nail in the coffin anyway. She actually did me a service by doing that. I lived the next 7-8 years single while she had 4 kids with her new husband. We both got what we wanted.
Well after nearly two years of zero contribution (financially, mentally, and physically) I was pretty much f*****g over it. Really highlighted how much it was to pacify me and how little emotional support and connection there was in our relationship.
We were both in the Navy, stationed on a ship in Japan. We’d been together almost three years when I got stationed back stateside and she was going to get out about three months later, come up to Virginia and live with me while I was finishing a school, then we were going to get married, deposits were all paid and everything. I realized in those three months away from her that she had been emotionally a*****e. I ended up cheating on her with another woman in my class and broke up with her and called off the wedding when she came up to visit me after she got out, she made me tell everyone because she still wanted to get married. After I got stationed in Washington, she would call me randomly when she was drunk or high and tell me how much I f****d her up. Then, I started therapy and recalled a memory I had blacked out of her SA-ing me and when I confronted her she couldn’t even tell me why she did it. She eventually called me out of the blue with something she “needed to get off my chest” and admitted that she had cheated on me with two other women less than 30 days after I left Japan. We don’t talk anymore.
